Breastmilk, Smiles and Shots

Not that they are correlated, but lets get started. Breastmilk is the best milk. While i completely understand this statement, it has left us fever free for the 8 weeks of RSV season, and happy, gassy (not my fault) baby. But at 3 in the morning when i'm pumping b/c my boobs might explode, it's a little bitter. I am appreciative of the weightloss that it provides, and the ability to eat twice my babies weight in M&M's, it is still a neucince (sp?). How long is long enough? Or How short, is short enough? The bottles of pre-made formula mock me at the store, like a nice pair of flip flops. "Buy me, use me, i will make you happy" But, the breast milk makes GJ sooo happy/gassy. did i mention she only gets it from the bottle. She refuses to go to the breast, she is overwhelmed and hates it. She has that WTF look on her face and cries, so the bottle it is. Which leads me to my next week point, SMILES. small ones, smirky ones, big gummy first thing in the morning ones, precious. makes sleepless nights so worth it. She is gorgeous, amazing, beautiful and mine. On to the opposite of smiles....
We had our first round of shots today. I dont reccomend this process, although necessary, it is horrible. You first wait in the friendly well baby waiting room with friendly people and thier unsuspecting little ones, then you talk to the friendly nurse in the smaller friendly waiting room, and while you wait for the friendly doctor to talk to you, these shrills and blood curdling screams echo down the hall in a looming manner. You try to guess the age of each scream...nervous laughter... and then the friendly doc comes and goes and here comes to the nurse again. oh boy. I make johnny hold her down b/c he's gonna be gone all weekend and wont have to look at his face and ask him why. I sit back, they stick, she turns PURPLE b/c un beknownst to me she has one of those sad, hold your breath silent cries and turns PURPLE before she participates in the blood curdling scream of the century. I'm definitely sure she used cuss words i have never even heard before. But my heart heard them. johnny laughed b/c her face scrunches like a raisin WHEN she turns purple. and the nurse is saying, 'love on her, love on her' i immediately start crying as hard as she is, my tears dropping on her tears, as i jerk her away from johnny to hold her tight and let her know its over. DEEP BREATH. We dress her and its all over, shes fine, im traumatized, we go to sonic for MY treat like my mom did when i got shots. The tradition continues, and we have to return in another 2 months to do it all over again. i cant wait.