Showers and More Smiles

Showers... as in bathing is such a luxury i totally took for granted. I bask in the thought of using conditioner again, smelling the soap and feeling the water on my face. Not that i am stinking, and if i am the dogs and baby aren't saying so, but it might be the reason GJ has that constipated look on her face when i pick her up. Johnny was gone all weekend and i snuck a birdbath in on Saturday, but my hair needs help ( and a trim if anyone is wondering). Now, the smiles. While it might be related to my not showering, she had her shots on Friday and now I'm paranoid about the amount of smiles per day and to whom. While she is a little person, and genetically inclined to be a little nutty, there is a spot in my house i can place her and she will laugh and giggle and coo and squeak with delight. It is not in the swing or in front of me or the TV, it is in front of a huge (6x5 ft) tapestry in my room above my bed. It is black and white iris'. She literally jets her neck out around me to see it. She LAUGHS at it. I hope this means she is an art fanatic or creative or something like that. But if i pick her up she acts like i shot her puppy and gives me 'a look'. So i might need to drape myself in this tapestry, but then she would find her other buddy in the house, the ceiling fan in the living room. she giggles at that too. I'm worried. i wish she would laugh at me like that. anyhoo, i realize lights and fans and black and white are 'their thing' right now, but i want to have fun too, she is 8 weeks old today. Growing so fast!

Breastmilk, Smiles and Shots

Not that they are correlated, but lets get started. Breastmilk is the best milk. While i completely understand this statement, it has left us fever free for the 8 weeks of RSV season, and happy, gassy (not my fault) baby. But at 3 in the morning when i'm pumping b/c my boobs might explode, it's a little bitter. I am appreciative of the weightloss that it provides, and the ability to eat twice my babies weight in M&M's, it is still a neucince (sp?). How long is long enough? Or How short, is short enough? The bottles of pre-made formula mock me at the store, like a nice pair of flip flops. "Buy me, use me, i will make you happy" But, the breast milk makes GJ sooo happy/gassy. did i mention she only gets it from the bottle. She refuses to go to the breast, she is overwhelmed and hates it. She has that WTF look on her face and cries, so the bottle it is. Which leads me to my next week point, SMILES. small ones, smirky ones, big gummy first thing in the morning ones, precious. makes sleepless nights so worth it. She is gorgeous, amazing, beautiful and mine. On to the opposite of smiles....
We had our first round of shots today. I dont reccomend this process, although necessary, it is horrible. You first wait in the friendly well baby waiting room with friendly people and thier unsuspecting little ones, then you talk to the friendly nurse in the smaller friendly waiting room, and while you wait for the friendly doctor to talk to you, these shrills and blood curdling screams echo down the hall in a looming manner. You try to guess the age of each scream...nervous laughter... and then the friendly doc comes and goes and here comes to the nurse again. oh boy. I make johnny hold her down b/c he's gonna be gone all weekend and wont have to look at his face and ask him why. I sit back, they stick, she turns PURPLE b/c un beknownst to me she has one of those sad, hold your breath silent cries and turns PURPLE before she participates in the blood curdling scream of the century. I'm definitely sure she used cuss words i have never even heard before. But my heart heard them. johnny laughed b/c her face scrunches like a raisin WHEN she turns purple. and the nurse is saying, 'love on her, love on her' i immediately start crying as hard as she is, my tears dropping on her tears, as i jerk her away from johnny to hold her tight and let her know its over. DEEP BREATH. We dress her and its all over, shes fine, im traumatized, we go to sonic for MY treat like my mom did when i got shots. The tradition continues, and we have to return in another 2 months to do it all over again. i cant wait.

What a difference a month makes. She is growing so fast, i just try to keep up. No she isnt sleeping through the night, but who cares. We do some of our best cuddling in the quiet hours of the night. She isn't a screamer, unless she is desperate for something, she is so fun to watch. And the hair, can you believe all that hair. I've gone through the baby pics and if i didnt carry her myself i wouldnt believe she was mine. She is the spitting image of johnny when he was her age (of coarse except for the hair). but i was a bald baby. 5 months of morning sickness will get you a head full of hair, i love it! She does have bad hair days, and better hair days, but they are all bow worthy. Daddy is keeping up. He has taken weekend duty, and of coarse enjoys the time, but i think he is secretly greatful he doesnt have to do it the other 5 nights of the week. She is starting to get strong with her neck muscles and be awake more during the day, and still does a fair share of sleeping. We are starting to get out more as we approach her 7 week mark. I told her not to get any bigger, i just love my snuggle bug! We go to the doc this week for a check up and dreaded shots. We will see how that goes... not looking forward to it. daddy may have to help with that one.

Well the birth was a bit of a hassle, we progressed to 9 cm in 12 hours. But during the laboring i got an infection in my placenta which gave me a pretty high fever and stressed gracie out. Gracie started having late decelerations in her heart rate, which means she was stressed out. So after all that, i had a C-section at 4:45 am in Jan. 26th. She came out screaming, which is the most joyful noise in the world. A beautiful baby. A gorgeous baby. Our baby. She is an absolute joy to be around. Healthy, good eater, and so much fun to watch. Johnny is the greatest. He is getting used to changing her clothes, and diapers. Feeding is a snap for him. I am having so much fun!

Slow boat to China...

Good grief. I admit i was very scared and anxious when i found out on Tuesday about my progress. But, thats about all the progress that has been found. I have had few solid contractions, which is so frustrating. I am ready to meet this little peanut. I've done the recommended "speed it up" things. spicy food, walking, other... stuff. Waiting is the worst. You wanna meet this little person, but apparently she does'nt want to meet us. Funny thing is, she is thrashing about in there like she is stuck in bed sheets and can't get undone. That's my child. Short of shining a flash light to show her the way, i'm just stuck...waiting.

HERE WE GO....

just got back from the doc, and im 4 cm, and 80% effaced. Without even trying, maybe this body is baby ready and i didn't even know it. I am so nervous, i think i have birthing stage fright. Doc says we will probably have a baby by the weekend. Johnny's eyes are as big as saucers, and so are mine. We are about to be parents. Responsible for another person. Feeding, clothing, rearing another citizen of the human race. But first, she has to get out of there somehow! Say some prayers, any advice is taken to heart.

Tana Has A Marley Moment

Not sure if all of you or some of you have read or seen Marley and Me but, that particular dog and my particular dog have a lot in common. Tana (Montana) is an 8 year old yellow lab who has also eaten things like phones, couches, toilet paper, bleach water, ant repellent, loads of stuffed animals, pillows... etc. We are surprised nothing has happened to her digestive tract or ever had a reaction, even to a basket full of Easter candy, which she was very sorry she ate.
Tana got in the trash Thursday night and had some leftovers chili and cornbread that had been sitting out. Now i have no idea why my husband didn't use the garbage disposal, but we definitely learned that lesson. This is not her first snack attack to the trash can, usually its things like, taco bell wrappers, french fries etc. Not usually whole meals loaded with spices. I woke up around 5 am friday to that oh so familiar heaving sound a dog makes when its been a trashcan night. I hurried her outside so she could finish her buisness, and i waited... and waited and waited. I called for her, she didnt come. I sent our other dog Vegas out to find her, she's a hearding mutt, and she came back without her. I start to worry. Tana is a very citified dog. It's 12 degrees outside and she isnt a fan of the outdoors all together. So this is alarming. I pile on some clothes and shoes and trek though the darkness where i can't find her. I round the corner of out house where we keep our ski boat and she has laid down under the trailer. Miserable, cold, unreactive to me calling her name. I immediatly FREAK OUT. The only thing you ever hear about dogs and dying is they like to wander off and die on there own. Well i was figuring this was as far as she could get, with the fence and all. I wake johnny up, he slaps on his coveralls and scoops her up and takes her inside without a fight. He gently lays her on the couch, i sit with her and talk to her and cover her to warm her back up. She breaks my heart. Her sad little face was saying, "mommy, my tummy hurts. i dont like it." Johnny who has had way more dogs than me, says, shes not dying, she just ate the chili. She just feels like dying. 30 min later, she is broken out in hives, her tummy, and face and she is miserably scratching, i force 3 benedryl down her throat and 15 min later, she is back asleep, hiveless, hiding in different rooms, but alive. Around 830 she perks up and drinks some water, and goes to lay in the bed till noon. Can't blame her. She returns to her normal self that after noon, but scaring the dickens out of me in the process. I just cant imagine what its gonna be like when its her time to go. But i do know, she is my favorite dog in the whole world, and i cant wait for Gracie Jane to meet her.

a watched pot never boils....does that mean my belly is a pot?

ok, so the laundry is done, the dresser will be delivered today, the diapers are waiting the bed and bassinette are made, my bag is sort-of packed... i think i am ready. The worst part is i could have as long as 4 weeks left. Isnt that horrible? My OB says she thinks 41 weeks, i scoff at 41 weeks. That just isnt fair. I want to meet this little tiny person who is hogging all the room in my belly and in my heart. Her daddy and i are getting very anxious. He's carrying his phone practically strapped to his ear, and while i havent started hitting the pavement (it's 24 degrees outside) i am willing to do so as soon as it hits 50 degrees again. I can only hold about 6 bites of food, which is annoying, epecially with a whopper jr. in my hand. (there not kidding about the flame broiled, yummy). And lets not get into the bathroom visits. When you actually consider not drinking water, b/c you know it will show up in 15 min... sad. But i'm trying to stay hydrated. Gracie on the other hand doesnt realize that my belly button is not the escape route. She hasnt figured out to drop out of my diaphagm and head toward the light (Actual light, not warm inviting light.) I hope that doesnt say anything about her intelligence. NOTE TO SELF: eat more omega 3 before she is born.

too much unwrapping?

Acquired a new symptom this weekend. After attending two showers back to back this weekend and being blessed with all the unwrapping of gifts, i somehow pulled a tiny band of muscles under my left shoulder blade. This happened quite a bit in college during finals, so i was familiar with the pain. So massaging helps. My mom massaged it, my husband massaged it, my friend Christy who used to be a masseuse massaged it, i massaged it against a door frames like a bear trying to scratch its back. So by Sunday night, i was so sore from all the massaging it had made it worse. I was at this point using accessory muscles to avoid my shoulder so i could breathe. Monday was horrible. The pain was nagging but by Monday night my pain was migrating toward my chest. All the opposite muscles in the front were sore from me working to avoid the ones in the back....are you still with me. Samantha prescribed some muscle relaxers thinking it was a spasm i agreed, but no relief was in sight. So Tuesday at 4 am, i woke Johnny up b/c i hadn't been asleep, my chest was burning with every breath. I had exhausted all my muscles just trying to breathe. Ironic. We ended up on labor and delivery, the ER for preggos. But everything checked out clean.pulse ox, EKG, breath sounds, x ray. Thank goodness. I had figured this amplitude of pain was cardiac related or i had been stabbed but no one told me. Laboring breath, shortness of breath i had it all. My x ray came back normal for a 37 weeker preggo. She said my diaphragm was pushing up into my lungs and my left lung was being pushed on... i wonder by whom? hmmmmm?
So 6 hours after getting to the hospital, and the pain getting worse, they gave me a little gem called Percocet. Relief at last. My pain went from a 10 to a 7 in about 30 min. Which was a nice relief. So now with lack of sleep, dopey from the percocet, and starving for food, we left the hospital with a new script and i headed to burger king for a tasty whopper, my new favorite thing. Johnny tucked me into bed around 1:00 in the afternoon, and i was able to sleep for the first time in 3 nights, drug induced of coarse, but nice, restful sleep. Tuesday night i slept and slept and slept, as though i was new to this bed rest thing. I'm still sore today, but the pain has evolved to more vague, i spent all night at the smokey bar, instead of the, chest grasping, shallow breathing, who the heck is stabbing me, pain.
So hopefully by tomorrow i will be functional again. And maybe by the end of the week she will drop out of my diaphragm and some relief will be given. I swear they were gonna see a tiny foot in my lungs, it wouldn't surprise me at all. But through the whole thing, she is just fine. She was on the monitor for about an hour and a half, and was happy to show off her heartbeatin' skills. So here i sit, truly resting today, and it feels nice.

Bedrest Day 6

As some of you know, i have recently been placed on bedrest for contractions while i was at work. I'm supposed to take it easy and stay off my feet until 38 weeks (2 weeks away). So today is day 6 of this most boring unsocial event of my life, and while talking with my super cool OB she said i should start a blog, and so here it goes. First i will start with things i have realized while on bedrest:
1. baby socks are tiny, and they do get lost in the dryer no matter how hard you try.
2. There is not a sufficent ratio of cookies in the cookies and cream ice cream.
3. its strange how messy a house can get when you aren't doing anything.
4. daytime TV sucks.
5. my couch is odd and very hard to get off of.

so, i will sit here and wait for little gracie jane to make her appearance at a later date, and i realize the bedrest is all for a strong healthy little peanut, but lets just hope for 2 more weeks.